1. Write at least one book.
I love to read and write. I write songs, poetry, short stories, essays but I would love to finish a whole huge project, like a full novel, since I struggle with pushing through to finish tasks.
2. Write and record my own album of original tracks.
Music is what has always kept me going throughout my life. Music taught me things that nothing else could have; it has a surreal, magical quality to me. I have always sang and it is one of the things that makes me the most happy I can be. Expressing myself through it just feels… right. I would like to have enough faith in my abilities to do something so monumental to me.
3. Excel at working in the best career field for me.
Ambition has never been an issue for me. I want to perfect my purpose. I want to find something that makes me the happiest and can make me a decent amount of money as well.
4. Find true love and seize it.
Love is very important to me, even though I often act like it isn’t and that I am fine on my own. This period of my life is for me to accept myself for who I am and who I have become/will become. Later on, I will be able to handle someone loving all of me, even the less wonderful parts, as I love all of them. I will find that “spark,” that feeling that’s so electric but enchanting at the same time. I just want to have the courage and bravery to retire my walls and let someone think I’m a decent human being and believe that something like that is possible.
5. Open up an animal rescue center.
Animals mean more to me than most human beings. When I had a huge life meltdown my junior year of high school, my dog was the only one there for me every day and any time I needed him. We did everything together. Rather unfairly, he got taken away from me January of that year, and I’ve not been quite the same since. He had been a dumped puppy, unloved, abandoned. I don’t want any other animal to have to feel/live that way, especially when they have so, so much to give people. I think it’s only fair we return the favors that they’ve done for us.
6. Become an advanced piano player.
As I love learning, I have always been fascinated with the piano. My Grampie played, and he was one of my favorite and most influential people to have come into my life thus far. I think that’s part of my subconscious draw to that particular instrument. I think it is beautiful.
7. Travel to Greece.
Culture intrigues me, along with landscape and language. Greece has always been one of the most interesting places to me.
8. Find a lifelong friendship.
Although I say I don’t need friends, I do. I really figured that out this summer. I cut most of my ties with people in high school, and I have very few friends now and am still trying to find my place here. I really miss having a best friend, and to find one who would be there forever…. well, that’d pretty life changing.
9. Go on at least one wilderness survival trip before I’m 25.
I love nature, and I’m very big on “life is an adventure for me to find myself” junk. I really feel a month or so in the wilderness would teach me a lot about my instinctual and natural personality traits, them being stripped down to their essences and all. I think I would grow immensely from that kind of experience.
10. Continue to choose to live a healthy lifestyle throughout my life.
Most of the women in my family suffer with being overweight. I’ve seen what it’s done to them. I’ve seen how it makes them feel, how it makes them see themselves. It’s not worth it when it can be improved. That kind of state of health is not final. But I’ve learned that you have to get to the point where you love yourself enough to stop hating yourself, allowing you to choose to support your body so it can continue to support you.
11. Get a tattoo.
Self-expression is important to me, and I really want a meaningful tattoo. My rule is that I have to completely sketch out and plan a tattoo, consider it for a year, and if I still think it fits me and the paths I am taking, then I can get it.
12. Learn to be satisfied.
I struggle with being happy. I always want more: more knowledge, more money, more talent, more beauty, more humbleness, more worthwhileness. I want to teach myself to be content with life as is.
13. Meet Lana Del Rey and learn from her experiences as a musician and as a young woman living in the spotlight.
I am just obsessed with this lady. She gets so much hate for her performances, but I am proud of her. Tackling stage fright is hard, and at least she has the guts to go for it, unlike most people. I think she is so brave and incredibly intelligent. She keeps on. I know I could learn so much from her.
14. Buy back my favorite childhood home.
The happiest part of my young life was when my mom and I moved in with my Grampie and Grammie Mary when I was 4. They had this gorgeous, huge but homey bed and breakfast house in New Hampshire. I loved the fall leaves, the mountains, the old wooden floors, and the happiness. Besides my summer camp, it’s one of my favorite places in the world. To be able to live in it again would be a dream.
15. Be able to look back at my life and my choices at the age of 70 and thoroughly believe I led the best life I could have possibly lead.
This kind of coincides with being satisfied, but more so focuses on my fear of failure. I am terrified of being wrong or doing the wrong thing. I want to learn to accept challenges and speed bumps and detours and simply be okay with the kind of person I turn out to be.